Hey guys. Time for me to show up, huh?

well let's see.. I need to write- too get this off my chest- so however wants to read; i got one message: Do as you please.

Have you ever notice how simple and complicated life can get?
What I mean is, one second you are talking with a friend or a lover and on the next you recive a text message in your cellphone saying that your bestfriend'ds Grandma died. You may think it's not big deal.. Well let me tell this: that if she is the only one that really cares about you, it is-.. I will not deepen the topic- Its not my place to tell nor your bussiness to know, sorry if i'm being rude, but i just write this for me and to whoever wants to read just for the sake of it, i'm not looking for judgement, just a place to write.. Back to the main idea:..- And then after a week or so you recive a phone call that someone else died.. What the fuck its this!? What's Happening?. . . Then one to two days later you- I figth with my boyfriend over the stupiests things ever.. i repeat: WHAT THE FUCK!?-- Sometimes i dont really know what is happening or if it is some kind of sick joke or simply its a step on a staircase that you just have to step over and go on.. or if some kind of; of Something. God makes us go through (sp?). wichever the case is, sometimes i feel its too much. I mean keeping my friends together, trying to be the pacifist in my relationship, trying also to be the one conforting the sad people, being the one holding together my family, dealing with All kind of rare and bizarre people.. it is nice sometimes; i may dare to say: Good, but sometimes, i would like to be the one.. the one..in peace. i dont even know anymore what i'm writing.. i'm just letting my figers move and move and move over the keyboard.. Have you people ever felt like this? like the world you once knew is crashing down? but not sentimentally or practically .. I mean.. I dont even know what i mean..

it is love really meant for me? I love him, i do. But can i keep on holding after this untrust and fear insede me? is this going to hurt him? it is going to hurt me?

I love him, I love him like mad! i Do! i swear i do! but .. I'm afraid i migth loose him if i keep this actitud up.. This careless, goofy, untrusty, proudy, actitud. one thing is for sure i am NOT gonna ever Change. But i will improve thats my only choice left.. that is the one i took!

My friends. My dearest friends. I would be totally lost without them..

Julie, Nunu, Cristina, Miso
Mary, Natz, Naty, JeanC,
Kensuke, Vessa, Diana, Monica,
Made, Aura, Abbi, AnaCaro, Maro, Carl,
Anne, Diego, Charlie,

Christian <3 style="font-weight: bold;">free when i do it..

dont walk infront of me, i migth not follow
dont walk behind me, i migth not lead.
walk beside me and just be my friend

Sincerly,

Rika